Sunday, November 23, 2014

Varying Levels of Hope, and Their Impact on Human Behavior

*I write these like diary entries almost - shit ton of comma splices, and terrible sentence structure. I also don't bother editing anything, I just write therapeutically to share my thoughts. Thanks to those of you who read these..

I've always found human behavior interesting. The varying degree of hope someone has of achieving a given thing seems directly tied to their behavior (even when that behavior isn't a true representation of a person's desire).

Now, that probably doesn't make any sense hearing that by itself, but let me explain with examples.

If your one desire is to attain & maintain a career in which you deem helps give you 'success', and through your experiences, you've lost hope in achieving that desire, your actions will quickly change. As we (humans) begin losing hope of achieving a result, we quickly close up, or initiate a defense mechanism. We will attempt to create a facade that we are no longer interested in attaining that result. Furthermore, we will create rationale for that new negative stance, in order to convince ourselves it wasn't worth our trouble in the first place:

"A career shouldn't measure success, anyways."
"Companies only look at you if you have a diploma."
"If it was meant to happen, it would have by now."

Then, we quickly redirect our attention to a similar goal, more attainable, with less chance of failure. This helps us feel accomplished, and forget about failures. 

Another example is in school, attempting to fit in with a certain 'crowd'. If you are different, stick out, or have had a tough time appealing to a certain group, a similar change occurs. People tend to dress or act as if they never would want that acceptance that initially was so high on their priority list. They may purposefully act or dress differently, to stick out and make a statement to themselves and others, that they no longer require or desire that social validation. It's debatable whether that desire for acceptance really ever dies, or if people convince themselves and push that desire back into their subconscious. 

My last example is love. Without getting too sappy, I think at the end of the day everyone wants to feel love(d). We see movies or have this predefined stance on what that means, which isn't necessarily accurate or achievable. However, it's human nature to be drawn to that attachment, acceptance, passion, and purposeful, romantic & emotional connection with someone. Some of us try to find it by bouncing from relationship to relationship looking for a spark or connection, while others find other avenues. Whatever your strategy is in finding this evasive connection, you may, over time grow weary or tired of pursuance. Often times we give up, throw in the towel and reach out vainly for the 'next best thing'. Too often, people turn to sex and desensitize the physical connection. Others can become hermits or antisocial as a result. 

I don't know why this was on my mind, but I find it interesting. Not everyone reacts to situations the same, so the above are not blanket statements, but observations instead. "No fucks given" is usually ironically an example of someone who gives many fucks, but maybe has little hope that the actual result will match the desired result [not talking sexual, but metaphorically]. Also, another fun fact; having awareness of what I've just written, may still not change your behavior once you're experiencing any given scenario. I've learned that your awareness doesn't always translate into 'action' as many of these decisions are concluded within your subconscious, and occur before you even know what happened.